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Soul Journey

June 16, 2016 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

Last week I experienced my first Soul Journey. Having no idea what to expect, I was told that I would be taking an in-depth look inside my own heart. Being able to visualize a physical journey within was necessary which left me skeptical since my visualization skills are less than ideal. With an open mind and heart, I laid down on the bed with a light covering over my eyes. A soft, steady Indian drum beat accompanied by rhythmic music quietly played in the background while my guide used her voice and the expressive sounds of singing bowls to guide me.

“Imagine a staircase going into your heart…” was how we began. At first I saw nothing. Slowly a circular staircase appeared and I cautiously took a step down. My imagination kept getting interrupted by my preconceived disparity between reality and visualization. Once I relaxed, my hand gently hovered above the rail as I descended the white, glass, smooth steps of a circular staircase. Down, down, down I went…suddenly yet gently arriving at the bottom.

At first, I am surrounded by darkness. As my guide’s voice instructs, I continue to try to see around me. Light enters and a garden reveals itself. I can feel the warmth of the sunlight on my face and feel aglow with its energy. As I begin to take a few steps deeper into the garden, a quasi-real/cartoonish rabbit appears. It keeps trying to take my hand as if to say, “Come with me” yet as hard as I try to reach out, my hand slips away. Out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow figure that’s masculine and it distracts me from the rabbit. It sits very still and erect on a bench with his arms stretched wide resting on the seatback. All it does is observe.

My guide instructs me to walk around and as I do I come upon a body of water. It glistens in the sunlight and brings me energy and comfort simultaneously. As I kneel down to study my reflection in the water, all I see is sparkling light. When I look a bit upward toward the horizon, I see a male rising from that shimmering light – my guide thinks this might be my future husband. Continuing to examine the light, I recognize that I am the sparkling light, and as I come to this realization the shadow figure shifts on the bench to one side as if to relax and say, “This is good.” Perhaps it is pleased that I finally see my true self: light reflecting in the water.

The cartoonish rabbit remains by my side and keeps gesturing his paw over his face as if he’s being bashful or coy. He also keeps trying to reach out to take my hand; urging me to come with him. I begin to sob because I’m suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of “it’s all going to be okay.” I don’t understand yet know that’s the message he’s trying to convey. My relief is so profound it is actually physical, not simply emotional.

My guide instructs me to leave the body of water and go see if any physical messages present themselves. Oddly enough as I rise and turn around I see the old climbing tree from the corner near our house when I was growing up. Instead of leaves, it is sprouting with slips of paper. As I reach out and pick one of these slips of paper I see that it is blank – they are all blank. Again I am apparently not ready to learn of the message meant for me. Patiently to my side is the rabbit who seems quite pleased I have discovered this tree even though no messages appear.

It is time to leave my inner heart and ascend the staircase back to reality. I leave with a new sense of comfort knowing that whatever is next in my life journey, all will be okay and I can stop worrying. As I flutter my eyes open, I am in awe of what I just experienced. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to have such a vivid journey.

In our discussion following; my guide and I toyed with the idea that I was the shadow observing myself as I explored what is next in my life. The blank slips of paper represented my lack of clarity of my future yet the rabbit – my apparent Spirit Guide – wants me to come with him so he can reveal my next chapter. And although I feel safe, I am not quite ready to follow. My homework is to write the rabbit letters asking what he wants of me while waiting to see if he answers.

The other day when meeting with my Rabbi for healing prayer, I mentioned this Soul Journey and together we came up with a bit of a different hypothesis. The shadow on the bench was HaShem (male divine presence of God) and my sparkling reflection in the water; the Shechinah (female divine presence of God). And my Spirit Guide was there to help me bring HaShem and Shechinah together inside me/as me for complete healing of my body and soul.

Whatever the message, I will continue to listen with an open heart and mind. I believe in myself and the spirits that surround me and know that my purpose is far greater than I can currently comprehend. Soon all will be revealed…I just have to relax, feel safe, and allow it to unfold.

Have you ever experienced a Soul Journey? If so, please share in the comments below.

Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

Celebrating 10-years with MS

April 26, 2016 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

10 years ago on this very date, April 26, in a matter of mere seconds my entire right side went numb and I lost partial vision in my left eye. After 6 weeks of uncomfortable tests and numerous visits to various doctors, speculation ensued as each physician was uncertain of the root cause of my symptoms. Their initial conclusion was to wait and see if it happened again. Not wanting to play Russian roulette with my life, I sought out a specialist who after a thorough exam and asking a multitude of questions to which he already seemed to know the answer, he uttered the dreaded words I never expected to hear, “My dear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you have multiple sclerosis (MS).”

Vivid images of that moment remain engraved in my mind’s eye forever. I still see my father slumping down in his chair and my mother quietly crying; both helpless to alleviate my suffering. And I still hear my brother’s questions to the physician to gain clarity on why he deemed this diagnosis to be true. Most importantly, I remember thinking to myself that my life had unexpectedly permanently changed in a way that rocked me to my core. Nothing would ever be the same. MS was an incurable disease that I would have to live with forever. And in the literature the doctor gave me to read, it was thought the disease would progress as I aged and I’d only live into my 70s, if I was lucky. At that moment, I was overwhelmed with anxiety.

Over time, as I processed my thoughts and feelings plus adjusted to my new normal, my thinking shifted to the more positive and I began to recognize the gifts that MS brought me.

Adjusting to my new normal meant:

Learning new ways to exercise so that my core did not overheat (heat is the nemesis to MS);
Eating an anti-inflammatory diet to keep my blood inflammation levels lower (since with MS they tend to run too high);
Developing a routine so I would not forget to take my medication every day at the appropriate time (MS creates cognitive challenges like memory loss);
Adopting a spiritual practice to lower my stress, increase my brain’s gray matter, and strengthen my faith in myself as well as a power greater than me;
And ensuring to get adequate sleep/rest to allow my body to heal.

Recognizing the gifts MS brought me:

In this journey we call life, how we live and the legacy we leave is what matters most. MS has helped me come into my own; no longer being overly concerned about how others think I should lead my life but living true to myself and what I want. I have discovered my strengths and have become the person I want to be by personifying the change I wish to see in the world. Namely, I try to authentically walk my own talk and give of myself to others as much as possible. I am blessed to be able to do this as a motivational speaker, published author, wellness coach and consultant who inspires hope through mindful health and a meaningful life.

Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of negative things that come with my diagnosis of MS: Dizziness/lightheadedness, cognitive challenges, numbness and/or tingling of all parts of my body, and severe fatigue are a few of the things I experience on a fairly regular basis. Combine that with the fact that I now take a plethora of prescribed medications and vitamins daily to stave off disease progression that have their own negative side-effects including weight gain, excessive dry skin, and hair thinning/loss. However, I consider these to be a small price to pay for being well and I celebrate every day that I am able to get out of bed, stand on my own two feet, and walk without a struggle. My experience with MS is so much less than many others’. I was fortunate to be diagnosed later in life at age 44; to be persistent so as to have a definitive diagnosis within 6 weeks; and be on disease modifying therapy (DMT) within 8 weeks from disease onset. Research shows that the sooner a person is put on DMTs the slower the disease progresses. I am living proof of that.

Ten years have flown by and I am amazed at how strong I remain. Yes, I still have relapsing remitting MS and thankfully it hasn’t progressed. I believe I have more lesions in my brain than when newly diagnosed but nothing is clinically apparent. My neurologist claims that I am “incredibly and extremely lucky.” When I think about that remark and reflect on the past 10 years, I truly believe that “luck” has taken a lot of effort, discipline, commitment, positivity, and faith. And as I celebrate today I am hopeful that I will live well into my 80s or more and with the advances in medical research every day, I remain confident that I will live to experience a body free of MS.

Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

No One Knows What It’s Like

February 2, 2016 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

No one knows what it’s like to be…

someone who lives with MS; an unseen storm constantly brewing inside, never sure when/where in the body it will strike.

A formidable challenge to live with; never to overcome.

Until you walk in my exact shoes, do not judge how I feel. Just because I look fine does not mean I am.

MS is always there; not a sympathy card I play when feeling ignored.

#resilient

(any obstacle or adversity can be placed after the opening phrase – what applies to you?)

Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book

December 28, 2015 by bappelbaum 1 Comment

Here is a preview of the introduction of my new book. It’s about a 4-step process for shifting from Why Me? to What’s Next? without the need for panic. I invite you to comment and let me know if this is a book you would want to read.

Dear MS,

In the blink of an eye you entered my life in 2006 like a freight train derailing off course at top speed and changed everything. Although I had faced numerous adversities prior, it is you who put me on the road less traveled; one that I would have ignored otherwise. As much as I tried to stay the course of my normal existence, you pushed me in the direction of another – the one truly meant for me even though I didn’t recognize it at the time.

As I navigated this new life path, you tried with all your might to knock me down, but I refused to fall. Through your challenging lessons you have shown me that I am not weak but strong; not hopeless but determined; and not diseased but healthy for me. You have become an integral part of me and although I occasionally stumble, I always pick myself up, dust myself off and start anew. You may always be the proverbial ‘elephant in the room’ but I have learned to look past your oversized body and rather see everything else for the blessings they are.

When first diagnosed, many people asked me, “Why you?” My reply was always simple, “Because I can handle it.” I find your entering my life to be the greatest gift I ever received. You woke me from a sound sleep I refer to as “auto pilot” and taught me to live the life I want, not the one other’s think I should. You’ve taught me a greater empathy for others who live their lives in constant suffering and given me the tools to pass on what knowledge I have to help them be their own best advocate in order to live well. You also taught me what I have known all along even though I didn’t consciously realize it; when chaos arrives at my front door, I do not panic. I show up and respond.

Learning to overcome adversity is truly one of life’s gifts. When faced with a challenge there is always an opportunity that lies within. You offered me an opportunity and through it, I discovered my purpose of being and am able to live my best, healthiest life. Thanks to you, MS, I have come into my own.

Through my story, I hope to teach others how to navigate their life’s journey to their best ability. I will do this by sharing how I traverse each step, each stumble, and every giant leap. So I say to you, MS, let’s walk together down the path of life, taking that road less traveled, and help others successfully do the same.

Focusing on Gratitude

November 4, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

There are moments in my life when I feel invisible. As a non-married, childless middle-aged adult, I often get left out of family and friends’ activities because I’m not a couple or have kids. As a female entrepreneur, my work is not considered a career; it’s considered biding my time until I find a ‘real’ job. And the money I spend is thought to be wasteful because in the eyes of others I have no reason to be spending money. And don’t even get me started when it comes to explaining to those who don’t understand that I have a chronic disease and have ‘bad days’ even though I may ‘look’ fine much of the time.

How many of you feel like this? You’re not alone and it can be very challenging especially around the holidays because they revolve around family. What I’ve come to realize is that no one can make me feel invisible. Only I can. So if you are feeling similarly, change the line of bullsh*t you’re telling yourself; I know I am trying to do that.

For this holiday season, I am shifting my thinking and changing the negative message I’ve told myself over and over. Although not easy to break the endless recording that’s been playing in my head since childhood, it’s about time I do it so as to step into my own light (spiritually and physically). Instead of feeling like I have to compare myself to others, be included in all activities or be told of all significant life events, I will keep moving forward with my life, in my own way, and not worry whether our paths cross or run parallel. I will focus on my journey, be grateful when included in theirs, and shake it off when not included in theirs.

Yes, I’m still that square peg desperately wanting to fit in that round hole. But as I get older I’m beginning to realize what a waste of time that struggle is. I’m much better off appreciating who I am and finding my own square hole to fit into. And, most importantly, family is all we have when push comes to shove. They love me and I love them unconditionally. At times we may not like each other, and that’s okay. We always love and support one another no matter what.

Unlike many people who focus on career equating success, I focus on giving back…another ‘square peg into the round hole’ characteristic of mine. Originating in the kabbalah in the teachings of the 16th century mystic Isaac Luria, Tikkun Olam tells us it is our duty to help repair and heal the world. I am grateful that in some small way, I am afforded the opportunity on a daily basis to fulfill my Tikkun Olam.

This Thanksgiving, and every day, I always take time to reflect on that for which I am grateful. Many things come to mind. I am grateful for:

My health. I am so blessed. Yes, I have MS and I’ve had a litany of other issues, and I am well. So many other people I know are facing life-threatening challenges and all I can say is, “Thank You” to God for keeping me well.
The many blessings that are bestowed upon me and those that I am able to impart upon others. Giving back and helping to make this world a better place is vital. Living a life that matters is what counts. When my time on Earth is complete, I hope I made a difference.
My family and friends who accept, support, and love me for who I am. You know who you are so I won’t be specific.
Our Armed Forces who keep us safe and fight for our freedom every day.
All the philanthropists and volunteers who make the lives of those less fortunate a little bit easier.
All the researchers and scientists out there trying to find cures for diseases from which so many suffer.

Being aware of these things helps me to change my negative self-talk and replace it with a positive message. I am someone who is living a life that matters by making a positive difference in the world – or so I hope. I am riding an incredible wave of this journey we call life and my blessings are immeasurable.

Thank you for being part of my journey.

Wishing you a health and joyous holiday season!
Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

In Order to Be, One Must Do

September 27, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

As I stand at the water’s edge, I am mesmerized by the ebb and flow of the waves. Some gently lap against the rocks; others come in more forcefully. Regardless of strength, the waves come in and then roll back out to sea. Countless living organisms ride this continuous cycle along with my thoughts as if the earth is in sync with my breath by means of the motion of the waves.

It is Rosh Hashanah; the Jewish New Year also known as the Days of Awe. Awe is an emotion combining dread, reverence, and wonder that is inspired by the sacred or magnificent. As I watch the waves and listen to the vast stillness of Lake Michigan, I am in awe. And as I cast bread upon the waves demonstrating my release of negative thoughts and feelings that have weighed me down this past year, feelings of insignificance bubble to the surface and I simply observe them. Questions that plague me today and every day are, “Do I matter?” and “How am I significant?”

In services the Rabbi spoke about in order to be, one must do. I believe about being the change I want to see in the world. Namely, I try to walk my talk every day through helping and truly listening to others in what I hope is a nonjudgmental approach. Through my coaching education I have learned to be the cause of my life, not the effect and that only I can shift my way of thinking to alter my feelings and behavior. This is why having purpose is so important. But whose purpose do I carry in my soul? Mine or that of my parents or family?

As I feel the breeze gently blowing through my hair and feel the warmth of the sunshine on my face I watch the bees’ intent on pollinating the wild flowers around the rocks continuing the cycle of life. What or who will I be when I’m no longer in the shadow of judgment or walking in the footsteps of those tremendous figures that came before me? What impact will I have in this world and will it be lasting? Who will be left to care? My mind is racing with rhetorical questions to which only God knows the answer as I struggle to uncover them. I’m listening but I do not hear.

Tikkun Olam teaches me to be my best self as I help to repair and heal the world. I believe by being the person I am I work towards that goal every day, or do I? Unfortunately, my training makes me keenly aware of how little others are there for me while recognizing how much I am there for them, or so I believe. In general, most people are focused solely on themselves; showing sympathy yet rarely empathy. How often do I try to share something of myself when others interrupt telling me about something similar that happened to them or simply tune out because what I have to say is of no interest? How fast the tables turn away from me often leaving me sad and lonely.

OK, this may all sound selfish of me yet it really connects back to Being and Doing. No matter what others may say or think, I will continue to DO what my conscience knows is best for me so that I can simply BE. And by BEING I will matter and I will make a significant mark of good on this world before leaving it. So who will I BE when no longer in the shadow of others? That’s for consideration hopefully many years from now.

Oxidative Stress and Its Role in Aging & MS, Part 1

September 26, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

WHAT IS OXIDATIVE STRESS

From the moment we take our first breath we are aging. Getting older is inevitable. The critical question is, “How will we age?” For some, the answer lies in good health. For others like me, the answer is rooted in disease. Disease is an abnormal cellular change caused by infection, stress, or inflammation that results in illness. Over time, science has been increasingly studying something called oxidative stress which has been widely recognized as a contributing factor in the aging process and disease.

Simply put, oxidative stress is the metabolic process that in essence causes your cells to corrode when exposed to oxygen. Although you need oxygen to live, high concentrations of it are actually toxic to your molecules. Contributing factors include environment and diet. Although unproven, it is suspected that oxidative stress contributes to the neurodegeneration that is the trademark of multiple sclerosis, among other chronic diseases.

In an abstract, the NIH states that, “Multiple sclerosis exhibits many of the hallmarks of an inflammatory autoimmune disorder including breakdown of the blood-brain barrier, the recruitment of lymphocytes…the presence of multiple lesions…and the presence of immunoglobulin in the central nervous system and cerebrospinal fluid. The inflammatory environment in demyelinating lesions leads to the generation of oxygen…and can lead to oxidative stress.”

To regulate this imbalance focus is placed upon the transcription factor called nuclear factor (erythroid-derived 2)-like 2, or Nrf2. Nrf2, according to Molecular Aspects of Medicine, is referred to as the “master regulator” of the antioxidant response; modulating the expression of hundreds of genes. This helps to control the immune and inflammatory responses to which oxidative stress is linked.

WHAT IS PROTANDIM

A few of you may have seen the 2012 interview on ABC News Primetime by John Quinones in which he investigates and tries a supplement called Protandim.

Protandim, discovered by Dr. McCord of University of Colorado, is a natural source of Nrf2 so it works without side effects or potential damage to your liver and bone marrow. Key ingredients of this dietary supplement include Ashwagandha root, Green Tea, Bacopa, Milk Thistle, and Turmeric extracts. These five botanicals work by signaling the DNA in your body to increase the production of its own natural antioxidant enzymes to combat oxidative stress and aging on the cellular level. It is NOT FDA regulated.

Animal studies indicate that Protandim increases the glutathione 300% in cells which basically helps you prevent oxidative stress. Glutathione maintains intracellular health. It’s a small antioxidant molecule found in every cell that neutralizes free radicals which can build up in your cells and cause damage within a cell. Glutathione can neutralize free radicals thereby fight disease, especially those associated with aging. If you consume a diet high in fresh vegetables, fruit and meat, you probably get adequate glutathione. However, most people’s diets are poor so they don’t get enough.

Tecfidera, a pharmaceutical or synthetic medication that is FDA-approved, historically was used to treat psoriasis and most recently is being used in the treatment of multiple sclerosis. Like Protandim, it uses the Nrf2 pathway to create antioxidation. However, it also mutes the immune system in ways that have been linked to serious infections.

As I interviewed Dr. Gene DeLucia, board member for and user of Protandim, he explained that Protandim was a natural Tecfidera and everyone with MS ought to consider taking it. He takes it himself as well as prescribes it to patients, family and friends. He claims to see results proven by functionality, feeling, and MRI. He has seen proof of fewer relapses and even disease reversal. Dr. DeLucia went on to say that discovering how to activate Nrf2 is the “biggest breakthrough” in Western medicine.

It seems that one main reason more people haven’t gotten onboard with this is that 21st century medicine is trying to step away from pharmaceuticals while the current industry is driven by profit margins. As for me, I’m always a bit skeptical without proven research. To date, because Protandim is a nutraceutical and not a pharmaceutical, clinical trials have only been performed on animals. Only pharmaceuticals can be researched for a specific disease on humans.

BOTTOM LINE

Has the Holy Grail of eternal youth been discovered in Nrf2? And if so, is it safer and/or better to take a nutraceutical (Protandim) non-FDA approved or a pharmaceutical (Tecfidera) that is FDA approved? Many people’s knee-jerk reaction is to immediately choose one or the other based on their own assumptions. Does that mean either option is correct? My plan is to bring this up in conversation with my neurologist (who is a pioneer in treating people with MS) and then have a follow up conversation with Dr. DeLucia to obtain further information. For now, in my opinion the jury is still out. One thing we do know for sure; decrease your oxidative stress (via antioxidants of some sort) and you will increase cellular function and health.

How Meditation Positively Affects Your MS

August 28, 2015 by bappelbaum 2 Comments

Many of you are under a great deal of pressure on a daily basis. You live life in the fast lane with work, family, and self-care all competing for your full attention. This can cause physical problems for you, especially if you are living with a chronic illness like MS. Stress, anxiety, fatigue, and depression can exacerbate your disease. So is there a way to actually lessen the effects of these problems?

Meditation is a conscious practice using your mind to promote relaxation, develop patience, and reduce the negative emotional effects of everyday life. Although a tremendous amount of research has been done in general terms focusing on meditation, mindfulness and brain health, it raises the question if it is good for overall brain health in general, is it also good for those with MS?

Meditation has been around for thousands of years. According to Wikipedia, “Early written records of the multiple levels and states of meditation in Buddhism in India are found in the sutras of the Pāli Canon, which dates to 1st century BCE. The Pali Canon records the basic fourfold formula of salvation via the observance of the rules of morality, contemplative concentration, knowledge and liberation, thus placing meditation as a step along the path of salvation. By the time Buddhism was spreading in China, the Vimalakirti Sutra which dates to 100CE included a number of passages on meditation and enlightened wisdom, clearly pointing to Zen.”

In simple terms, meditation is your mindful, nonjudgmental awareness of your experiences in the present moment. It helps ground you when you feel like everything is out of control. With practice, you learn to focus your awareness on your breath, a silently repeated phrase, or an image in your mind’s eye. As you investigate your distractions and notice whether they come from rehashing your past causing anger or frustration, or they come from worrying about your future causing anxiety or fear, you will learn to focus on becoming mindful instead of having a mind full. Slowly you will begin to access your subconscious mind in order to heal the issues that plague your conscious mind.

A regular meditation practice offers numerous health benefits. For example:

MRI studies reveal that meditation is beneficial to brain health. For example, one study from Harvard proved meditation rebuilds the brain’s gray matter in just 8 weeks; further proving the theory of neuroplasticity (ability of the malleable brain to grow new synaptic pathways).
Research shows it reduces the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lowers blood pressure, slows heart rate, increases blood flow, reduces perception of pain, and enhances the function of the immune system.
Neuroscience studies show that the amygdala’s response to emotional stimuli is altered by meditation and this effect continues even when you are not actively meditating, thus bringing awareness and/or mindfulness into your everyday life.
Finally, because meditation quiets the mind it can be a beneficial sleep aid. Fatigue is a common symptom of MS. With a regular meditation practice you can lessen your fatigue and better your sleep habits, leading to an overall improved quality of life.

There is a plethora of scientific evidence that meditation is beneficial for your body and brain health. However, it only works if you do it so it is essential to schedule some time on a daily basis to practice it. Initially it can be as little as 5 minutes a day. As your ritual develops, you will most likely want to extend that time.

Let’s face it; we all know that MS is an unpredictable disease causing you to feel good for possibly long periods of time and then out of the blue have an attack that can knock you off your feet. Developing a meditation practice can help you become more mindful thus better cope with whatever MS throws your way. You will feel more in control and perceive things as they really are without associating fear, anxiety or additional stress to it. You will remain present, aware, and nonjudgmental of your experiences so that you can maintain quality of life.

If you’ve never tried meditation before and want to start, check out my blog post, “Take a Breath. Relax, You’ve Got This.” Here I teach you how to begin a deep breathing practice that can lead you into a meditative practice. Leave a comment below if you’d like to learn more.

Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

Once in a Blue Moon

July 31, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

According to ABC News, “A blue moon is defined as any time there is a second full moon during a calendar month, according to NASA. While most years have 12 full moons, this year has 13.

Don’t let the name fool you, though. Blue moons are very rarely blue. Most are pale gray and white, resembling a moon on any other night.

A truly blue colored moon can occur on rare occasions, according to NASA, with most being spotted after volcanic eruptions. It’s also possible Friday’s moon could be red.

“Often, when the Moon is hanging low, it looks red for the same reason that sunsets are red, NASA explains. “The atmosphere is full of aerosols much smaller than the ones injected by volcanoes. These aerosols scatter blue light, while leaving the red behind.”

Step outside at sunset on July 31 to check out the blue moon, then if you’re so inclined, go ahead and celebrate by doing something you only do “once in a blue moon.” You do have an excuse, after all.”

My take on the Blue Moon, other than its beauty, is it helps to connect nature’s energy to our own. Because of its rarity we take pause to notice it. So when you look up into the night sky take a deep breath, relax, and try to feel nature’s energy combine with yours to create a truly magical moment.

Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

Here’s my photo of the Blue Moon in the southeastern sky from my front yard:

The Healing Power of Faith

July 30, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

I learned of healing prayer through Rabbi Douglas Goldhamer who studied, practices and teaches healing prayer. He suffered from a debilitating vascular disorder which impeded his ability to walk. Through healing prayer he healed himself.* It was miraculous.

In 2003, my father was diagnosed with Thymic Carcinoma: a very rare cancer of the thymus gland. Although my mother did not believe in healing prayer, my father always claimed that he had a personal relationship with God and they spoke often. This faith prompted my parents to pray with Douglas prior to my father’s surgery in order to save his life. Both of my parents prayed (and cried) in front of the ark with the Rabbi. They claimed it was a spiritual experience like none other. Today, my father is over 10 years cancer-free and going strong. Thank God.

Up until 2007, I had witnessed healing prayer from the sidelines. It worked for others yet I wasn’t really convinced. Why, I don’t really know, but I wasn’t. I actually was quite skeptical of all Judaism because my beliefs did not correlate to the prayers said in services on a regular basis. I was much more spiritual than religious but had not come to that realization – yet. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed. In April 2006, in what was literally a matter of seconds, I began to exhibit symptoms that were similar to those of a stroke. I realized something was dreadfully wrong and was terrified. The next three weeks were a whirlwind of uncomfortable tests and doctors’ hypotheses. In the end, the dreaded words were uttered by a specialist, “My dear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you have Multiple Sclerosis.” Wow! Talk about a life-altering moment! I was stunned, shocked, and frightened.

Word of my diagnosis spread like wildfire amongst our family and friends. Many called wanting to express their concerns, ask questions and let me know they were there to help. But what could anyone really do? No one could take this dreadful disease away or could they? After taking almost a full year to physically adjust to the medication and a new lifestyle, I called Rabbi Goldhamer to inquire about healing prayer. Douglas welcomed me with open arms, immediate unconditional love and a non-obtrusive sensitivity that no one else had ever shown me (aside from my parents).

Our first visit was awkward as I did not know what to expect. When Douglas asked about my expectations, my explanation was that it would work like therapy; he would listen to me and use Rabbinical thought and traditions to explain why I felt the way I did. He promptly told me with a glint in his eye, “No, it doesn’t work that way. This is not therapy, I am not a shrink.” We shared a laugh and then I hesitantly asked, “Then what is healing prayer?”

We began discussing the power of healing prayer on others. Stories of people’s tumors disappearing were shared in-depth. Apparently, people come from all over the world to pray with and learn from Rabbi Doug because healing prayer works best when done regularly and with someone who is skilled. It is nowhere near as powerful when practiced alone.

It is important to note that when performing healing prayer, one must also follow and practice the medical advice of their physicians. Prayer does not replace prescribed medications or protocol. It is an addition to it.

Clarifying my beliefs was the next step. I was not sure I believed in “God” specifically, but I did believe in a universal power greater than mankind. Personally, my God is defined more like energy (universal life force) versus a traditional human-like figure sitting on a throne up in heaven. Energy is not necessarily visible to the naked eye; however everything is made up of energy. Fortunately for me, healing prayer is based on having faith in the energy of God. God is conscious thinking, compassionate, giving energy. Humans are created in God’s image and within all of us (and outside all of us) God is everywhere. Her energy is harnessed and activated through healing prayer.

There was a wonderful experiment done by Dr. Gary Schwartz at the University of Arizona in Tucson on advances of consciousness and health. He did a study indicating the energy in the expression of Global Love focusing on the date April 29, 2011. He used a special device based in Tucson that tracks random activity of energetic electrons in the world. First, you may be wondering what was so special about the date April 29, 2011. That was the day Prince William and Kate got married. The energetic expression of global love was that of their kiss. When William and Kate stepped out onto the balcony the energy levels increased. When the remainder of the royal family stepped out onto the balcony, the energy levels increased even further. While they were standing there the energy levels stayed relatively steady until there was a slight uptick and that was when the crowd started chanting kiss kiss kiss. When Will and Kate demurely kissed, the crowd went wild as shown through the energy indicator. Then the levels dropped a bit and stayed steady. However over the next several minutes researchers noticed the uptick dramatically rose. And what do you think this correlated with? The second kiss. And for those of you who watched on TV, you know this second kiss was definitely a bit more romantic than the first. And the crowd went wild. Isn’t it truly amazing that the energy levels of this crowd all away in London were measured thousands of miles away in Tucson Arizona? Energy is global. Energy is universal. Energy is everywhere.

Another way to prove energy exists is what I like to call a simple parlor trick. Either string together a long bunch of paperclips or use a metal chain that you wear around your neck. Very loosely hold it at the tip or the end and let it dangle freely over someone’s head or body while they either sit or lay down. Hold your arm still and you will notice slowly but surely the chain will start to move. If the person has open energy and an abundance of it, the chain will start to swing wildly in a large circle. If the person’s energy is low and/or blocked, the chain might end up swinging back and forth. On rare occasions the chain does not move at all signaling the person’s energy being completely blocked.

You may be asking yourself what causes a person to have low or blocked energy. The answers vary. The person could be sick and/or have an emotional block going on. There are practitioners who do things like reiki, healing touch, and other various forms of energy healing to clear blockages in those that have them.

I believe that through meditation and/or prayer, energy can be harnessed to heal the mind and body. Many ancient cultures practice energy rituals such as Chi gong, tai chi, yoga, meditation, healing prayer, etc. that have become popular in contemporary life due to their proven positive healing effects. When you practice any of these energy rituals, you allow your subconscious mind the ability to invite change so as to gain a greater sense of self and well-being.

Most problems and negative energy stem from your thinking. What you think affects how you feel, and how you feel affects how you behave. A regular spiritual practice helps you align with your inner core energy, shifting it to a higher level. It helps calm your mind and focus on your breath, quiets inner thoughts, reduces stress and allows your truth to unveil itself. A regular spiritual practice helps connect the body and mind for optimal wellness.

Meditation literally means to think, contemplate, devise, or ponder. It is a mental practice used for the purpose of experiencing a heightened awareness within silence and relaxation; very similar to that of healing prayer. Scientists and physicians are researching the effects of meditation on the brain. Through MRI studies it has been proven that meditation positively affects the health of the brain. For example studies are showing that a regular practice of meditation provides these benefits:

promotes deep breathing which stimulates blood flow and healing to your entire body
aids digestion
increases energy
reduces stress and frequency of illness
improves memory and brain health
improves overall wellness

There are many types of meditation, but the true essence is the same: it involves intention, focus and deliberate breathing. In the case of healing prayer, it also includes specific invocations to recite. It also requires practice and dedication. Change does not happen overnight.

As I’ve mentioned, I have practiced healing prayer regularly for the past several years. Most recently I have combined this practice with yoga. I use the technique as a form of meditation that directs my thoughts inward energetically, helping me align my energy with that of the universe and God.

Healing prayer is guided by the notion that one does not pray to be given strength; one prays to be cured. It uses principles for guiding our healing embraced by the Christian and Jewish traditions. Both faiths maintain that when you pray, you pray as if your prayer has already been answered. And I like to add my own saying that, “Energy flows where attention goes.” So if you and God are focused on healing, you will be healed. Have faith.

I’d like to share with you that MRIs of my brain show that my MS has progressed. Yet clinically speaking, my doctor says I am the healthiest patient he has. I’m his favorite conundrum. We always discuss does he treat the picture or does he treat the patient and agree in the end he should treat the patient. Therefore I ask you to use me as living proof that healing prayer and meditation work, and give it a try if you haven’t already. It may not be a cure per say, but it does keep me healthy and I hope it does the same for you.

Rabbi Evan Moffic of Temple Solel came across a wonderful teaching from an 18th century Rabbi known as the “Kotzker Rebbe.” He taught, “Some people wear their faith like an overcoat. It keeps them warm but does little for others. Others light a fire when they live their faith. It warms them and brings light to the world.” This brings me to the concept of Tikkun Olam. This Hebrew phrase means “repairing or healing the world” which suggests our shared responsibility to heal the world. Again, if we are one with God and God is one with us, then doesn’t the same hold true for the world? I think it does in that all energy is shared. When your actions are motivated by negative thinking, aggression or anger; or you cannot tolerate life when things don’t go your own way; you create an environment that reflects your inner soul. So when you act from a place of pain, pain is what you will experience. In contrast, when you become one with your core energy; one with God; focus more on the needs of others and give back; and you live your Tikkun; you not only help heal the world, you help heal yourself because you’re shifting your inner core energy to higher levels of existence.

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness opened my soul up to the realization of how brief our time here on earth truly is and that we had better make every moment count. My journey through healing prayer, guided by Rabbi Doug, has taught me that it is okay to express my belief in the beauty of my soul and the goodness of others. My faith in God and mankind has been renewed over the years and it enhances my strength of being, my ability to live my faith, and my ability to live my Tikkun Olam.

If you wish to begin and/or track a spiritual practice, learn more in my wellness journal, Live in Wellness Now.

Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

*To learn more about Rabbi Goldhamer and healing prayer, read his newest book, “Healing with God’s Love; Kabbalah’s Hidden Secrets.”

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