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Pivoting

September 6, 2019 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

Have you ever had a day where you felt like your “get up and go” got up and went? I’ve been feeling like that all summer long. And for the longest time I couldn’t pinpoint as to why I was feeling that way. At first I questioned if I had a virus, then was I depressed, and then it hit me. I had no reason to wake up in the morning and get going. During my father’s last two years of life I had purpose. It was my job to balance my career while helping with his care. After his death, I assisted my mother with all the subsequent necessary tasks.

Now that life is calming down – it’s been almost a year – I have been reflecting on my own satisfaction with what I am doing. To be honest, I love helping my mother navigate her new solo life because it is giving us quality time together that I cherish. However, the thought of trying to get my wellness coaching business back on track after a two-year hiatus is daunting. And to be perfectly honest, I really do not want to devote my time and effort to it anymore.

I’ve been in business as a solopreneur for ten years and it has been a constant battle to get new clients, perpetuating a steady income. Most people want to learn how to live a healthy lifestyle but do not want to pay for it. If insurance covered my services, it wouldn’t be a problem. Sadly, it does not. And in order to keep a thriving business going, I feel like a politician who is constantly campaigning: as soon as I am working with one client, I need to start looking for my next so that I have a steady stream of work. Honestly, it’s exhausting. For a while I’ve worked with the MS Society and Canyon Ranch Health Resort in Arizona, but both have changed staffing several times and shifted direction regarding messaging and mission. I guess I feel like I don’t fit in anymore with either.

As I let my feelings percolate, I have decided it is time to pivot and add excitement and purpose once again to my daily life. I won’t completely give up working in the wellness arena because I believe it is vital to everyone’s wellbeing. And if I have knowledge that I can share with others to make their lives better, I must do that. However, I am going to shift gears on the topic of my wellness newsletter making it more like a blog post than a newsletter. I will offer tips, thoughts, and perhaps suggestions on living every day as middle-aged woman with a chronic disease as healthfully as possible; preserving its title Live in Wellness Now. I will share my ups and downs, successes and failures. My hope is to keep it real.

In the meantime, I am also going to pursue a potentially new revenue stream. As a child I loved art and graphic design however was discouraged to follow it as a career. Now, as I help my mother plan the renovations on her new condo, I have rediscovered my love of graphic art and am going to explore a certification in interior design. I may take one class and hate it. On the other hand, I may love it and continue through to completion. No matter what I discover, I am excited to be taking a new journey down a road I haven’t traveled in a very long time. Perhaps it’ll spark something in you too and we’ll enjoy the journey together!

Attending Hay House Writer’s Workshop

July 10, 2016 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

“When life calls you, you have to answer.” This is the quote that kicked-off one of the most stimulating, compelling and wonderful weekends of my life. For the first time in a long time I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be. My anxiety over how I would tolerate sitting for 2 days, 8 hours each, quickly diminishing within the first ½ hour. And when Reid Tracy, CEO of Hay House, gave an initial brief overview of the Writer’s Contest that workshop attendees can enter, I looked directly at him from my 2nd row seat and said to myself, “This is my time and I’m winning this one!”

I am ready to buckle down and dive into forward momentum with regard to writing and publishing my second book. And what I learned this weekend is that I have built a solid foundation upon which to launch and now I just need to do the work that will catapult me to where I want to be.

The content-rich workshop began with Reid Tracy, CEO of Hay House, discussing how to build a platform. A platform is the way by which I directly communicate with an audience so as to build my tribe. I struggle with this component of my business in that I have over 1,000 followers on each social media site yet only a couple hundred on my actual mailing list. In order to have the financial success I seek, I must create a platform that supports my having a list of at least 5,000. I definitely have my work cut out for me!

The next speaker was Kelly N. who owns her own editing company. She taught us about book proposals, content editing, outlines, etc. She offered so much useful information plus gave us three free templates of book outlines to follow so as to keep the arc of consistency for our reader. It was at this moment that I finally had a genre name for what I am writing: a Teaching Memoire.

Reid came back to talk about the importance of the book cover. He kept hitting home his point that most self-published titles have very poor covers. A cover needs to attract the reader enough so they purchase. At break I went up and asked him if he’d give me an honest opinion of my cover since I self-published. As he nodded I held out my book. Without a second’s hesitation he smiled and said, “That’s really nice!” Score! I feel validated.

The next topic of discussion was self-publishing. Since I went this route with my first book, much of the information was a good refresher. However, I did learn how I could attempt to get my self-published book picked up by a traditional publisher at some point in the future. It’s all about proving there is an audience for what I have to say. If the publisher knows a demand exists, they will invest the money and time.

As the next speaker began discussing how to build our platform, I realized that although my conversion rate is small, I am much further ahead than most of the people in the room. Again, I felt as if I had a slight advantage and further owned my confidence and pride in what I am doing.

The final speaker of the first day was a complete turn off to me. People LOVED her and gave her a standing ovation. Me, well, I found her condescending with her demeaning language. She spent a lot of time telling us what we should not do and how we need to “get over ourselves.” I did try to extrapolate a few nuggets of helpful wisdom such as: my story needs to be greater than me and empathize with other peoples’ pain and help alleviate it; I need to become an escort into the human soul; and I have to be courageous – willing to be uncomfortable to truly share my vision. As I primarily tuned out the speaker and contemplated these juicy nuggets, I felt an energy growing deep inside me finally embracing my message for the gift I believe it to be and truly having faith that I am where I am meant to be right now. It is time for me to be open to my soul’s true journey; my true Tikkun Olam.

At the end of the final session we were asked to complete several writing exercises. One prompt was “Believe in….” Here is what I wrote:

Believe in yourself, you are the change you wish to see in this world. With it you help others navigate through pain or dis-ease to wellness. You make other people’s lives easier, you matter. You make a difference. Just breathe – trust in the process of your journey. All is as it’s meant to be. God said to me, “I choose you because you can handle it. Now teach others. Remember, I AM.”

With that said, my blog over the next few months will focus on my experiences as I develop my first book proposal to enter the Hay House Writer’s Workshop contest in November. My primary goal of sharing this journey with you is to familiarize you with the book publishing process (in case it’s of interest to you) as well as to bounce ideas off of you, my followers, so that I continue to concentrate on providing information you desire most.

Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book

December 28, 2015 by bappelbaum 1 Comment

Here is a preview of the introduction of my new book. It’s about a 4-step process for shifting from Why Me? to What’s Next? without the need for panic. I invite you to comment and let me know if this is a book you would want to read.

Dear MS,

In the blink of an eye you entered my life in 2006 like a freight train derailing off course at top speed and changed everything. Although I had faced numerous adversities prior, it is you who put me on the road less traveled; one that I would have ignored otherwise. As much as I tried to stay the course of my normal existence, you pushed me in the direction of another – the one truly meant for me even though I didn’t recognize it at the time.

As I navigated this new life path, you tried with all your might to knock me down, but I refused to fall. Through your challenging lessons you have shown me that I am not weak but strong; not hopeless but determined; and not diseased but healthy for me. You have become an integral part of me and although I occasionally stumble, I always pick myself up, dust myself off and start anew. You may always be the proverbial ‘elephant in the room’ but I have learned to look past your oversized body and rather see everything else for the blessings they are.

When first diagnosed, many people asked me, “Why you?” My reply was always simple, “Because I can handle it.” I find your entering my life to be the greatest gift I ever received. You woke me from a sound sleep I refer to as “auto pilot” and taught me to live the life I want, not the one other’s think I should. You’ve taught me a greater empathy for others who live their lives in constant suffering and given me the tools to pass on what knowledge I have to help them be their own best advocate in order to live well. You also taught me what I have known all along even though I didn’t consciously realize it; when chaos arrives at my front door, I do not panic. I show up and respond.

Learning to overcome adversity is truly one of life’s gifts. When faced with a challenge there is always an opportunity that lies within. You offered me an opportunity and through it, I discovered my purpose of being and am able to live my best, healthiest life. Thanks to you, MS, I have come into my own.

Through my story, I hope to teach others how to navigate their life’s journey to their best ability. I will do this by sharing how I traverse each step, each stumble, and every giant leap. So I say to you, MS, let’s walk together down the path of life, taking that road less traveled, and help others successfully do the same.

Once in a Blue Moon

July 31, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

According to ABC News, “A blue moon is defined as any time there is a second full moon during a calendar month, according to NASA. While most years have 12 full moons, this year has 13.

Don’t let the name fool you, though. Blue moons are very rarely blue. Most are pale gray and white, resembling a moon on any other night.

A truly blue colored moon can occur on rare occasions, according to NASA, with most being spotted after volcanic eruptions. It’s also possible Friday’s moon could be red.

“Often, when the Moon is hanging low, it looks red for the same reason that sunsets are red, NASA explains. “The atmosphere is full of aerosols much smaller than the ones injected by volcanoes. These aerosols scatter blue light, while leaving the red behind.”

Step outside at sunset on July 31 to check out the blue moon, then if you’re so inclined, go ahead and celebrate by doing something you only do “once in a blue moon.” You do have an excuse, after all.”

My take on the Blue Moon, other than its beauty, is it helps to connect nature’s energy to our own. Because of its rarity we take pause to notice it. So when you look up into the night sky take a deep breath, relax, and try to feel nature’s energy combine with yours to create a truly magical moment.

Be Present | Be Purposeful | Be Well

Here’s my photo of the Blue Moon in the southeastern sky from my front yard:

Reflection

July 24, 2015 by bappelbaum Leave a Comment

Something happened the other day that caused me to take pause and reflect upon the last 9+ years since my MS diagnosis. The other day I received an email from one of my girlfriends. Since it seemed to be about a medical website I blew it off thinking it was something to do with her work. A day later I received another email so I read it more closely. It talked about her choosing Caring Bridge instead of another, less user-friendly platform. Knowing what Caring Bridge is, I gave her email my full attention although no details were present. Immediately I reached out to her to inquire about what was happening. To my shock, especially since we had all been together only 2 weeks ago and everything was fine, she stated she had been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and was beginning a 4-round series of oral chemo this week. If that is successful and she goes into remission, she will then have a stem cell transplant which will hopefully “buy her” 10-13 years. That’s not a very long life in my opinion. My heart was heavy as I thought about all her hopes and dreams that may not be given the opportunity to come to fruition.

As is only natural, when I hung up the telephone my thoughts turned to memories of our recent family vacation which have been shadowed by my father’s life-threatening decline in health. And I’m reminded of a weekend 10 years ago spent with my mother in celebration of her 70th birthday – everyone, to my recollection, was healthy then. Wandering around my house that afternoon, I reflected on all of my family photographs and what life was like at the time they were taken. So much has happened over the years. Lots of change; some good, some not so good.

Even when days seem to drag on, the years seemingly fly by faster and faster as I age. I’m told this is common which is personally poignant because lately I find it challenging to make the most of every minute, not wasting precious moments. To lift my father’s spirits, I created a collage of family photographs. It reveals celebrations, parties, jokes, and all the fun we have together. Hidden behind the photographs is the sadness of the people we’ve lost in addition to the pain, anguish, illness, surgeries, diagnoses, etc. that we’ve all experienced. Sometimes the older we get, the more daunting the future becomes.

This summer my MS has been somewhat of a nuisance; causing vestibular issues that are interfering with my daily life. Although I am not overly concerned with the immediacy of this issue, it does bring to mind the question, “How well will I be in another 10 years?” People with certain illnesses that are not chronic usually either experience remission, are healed, or pass away. It’s a bit more finite. My friend with multiple myeloma and other people like me with chronic diseases learn to live with their illnesses; making friends with the proverbial elephant in the room who never leaves. Regardless, everyone’s got something and life goes on until it doesn’t.

As I anticipate the next decade of my life I am filled with joy, excitement, and a touch of sadness and trepidation. There is so much potential and I am eager to see what happens. As my friends and I move toward and through the age of retirement and are exposed to greater loss and illness amongst our families and friends, I hope the most interesting years are still ahead of me. As I’m sliding down the hill of life I will no longer stand in the shadow of those before me; I am now coming into my own with increased confidence and am hopeful that I will remain well. My vision does leave the door ajar for the limitations of MS and aging although I’m hopeful those will be limited at best.

I guess that my reflection needs to include practicing what I preach; my ‘go to’ mantra of, “overcome adversity and recognize the gift.” Challenges force me to dig deep inside and discover how strong I really am. Over the years I’ve always landed on my feet regardless of the obstacle, and believe me, there have been many. I realize all of these are stepping stones to having become the person I am today and will become tomorrow. I’m always changing or evolving and that’s a good thing. Life definitely is a journey filled with lots of potholes as well as smooth pathways. Here’s hoping that my navigation skills continue to improve and that I don’t fall into too many potholes during my next 10 years.